Memoirs of a Broken WomanLindy Ariff2019-03-07T10:04:16-08:00
About Memoirs of a Broken Woman
I am a mother, wife and friend. I am currently married to my best friend and I am a domestic violence survivor! I was in an abusive marriage for 10 years until I found the courage to leave. Through my struggles to find freedom, my battle with Anorexia and being a single mom I can now say that I survived! I made it! It took me many years to find my own inner strength and my self-worth but piece by piece God restored the brokenness within me.
My reason for starting my blog and facebook community page is to not only share my own experiences with domestic violence but to help others that have either been or are currently in a situation where domestic violence is present. My hope is to reach out to others and to give a voice to those who feel like they don’t have one. I share my experiences with my community on my Blog, Facebook, and Instagram @memoirsofabrokenwoman!
I used to be an expert on putting on the facade that everything in my life was great. I made sure that my outer appearance was always well put together from my hair and makeup down do my stylish heels. It was as though I piled on the layers to hide the real truth, to hide the bruises, the fear, the shame and the guilt. Once I completely stripped away the facade I was left with just an empty shell of my body. My famous words use to be, “I’m fine, I’m okay.” As days, weeks, months and years past my close friends became very familiar with those words except they realized that “I’m fine, I’m okay” really meant I’m hurting and I’m scared. Thankfully I had wonderful friends who read between the lines and helped me every step of the way.
I have endured 10 years of abuse at the hands of a man that I once called my husband. My hope is to reach out to others and to give a voice to those who feel like they don’t have one.
Through our own pain and difficulties we find strength to help others. You never know how much your story can inspire until you start sharing it. Let go of the hurt, shame or guilt that may be holding you back from sharing; you will be amazed at how many others have similar stories.
My Healing Journey
It took me many years to find my own inner strength and my self-worth but piece by piece God restored the brokenness within me. My story is very common but often not talked about. Today I can sit here with a spirit of gratefulness, grateful to be alive. So many stories like mine don’t end with a happy ending. My goal by starting this page is to help other women by sharing my own story of despair and hope. I truly believe that when women encourage and support each other we build an army of women that can make a difference.
My healing began once I realized that as long as I continued to gaze inward, I would always see my scars, but when I gaze on Jesus, I see His scars and remember He died to make me whole again. I finally understood that I could trust the One who loved me completely. It took me awhile to get there, though. For years, I felt the need to hide the shame and pain I felt. The most astounding changes came as I learned to trust Him with my past hurts. For far too long I spent many minutes, hours and days hating what I saw in the mirror. When I looked at my reflection all I could see is my fears, flaws and failures. I am slowly becoming comfortable in my own skin and not giving into the world’s definition of beauty.
I spent many years putting on the facade that my life was perfect and I was afraid to show who I truly was. It wasn’t until I realized that the things I spent hiding behind my mask has made me who I am. My experiences, failures, struggles, joys and triumphs are what other people want to know about me. They don’t want the pretend and fake life that everything is perfect because they too have experiences that set them apart and make them unique. We all have a story and when we start to share we get to know some pretty amazing people in the world. Don’t be afraid to be YOU!
“I will be there to always catch your tears. I will be there to love you through your pain. I will be there to hold you through your healing.”
To My Younger Self
Dear younger me…If I could tell you anything this is what I would say….
If only you could only see what I see today. There is beauty that lies in your soul that has always been there.
You have always had a gentle heart and nothing will ever take that from you.
I know you have been hurt in the most horrendous of ways and I know you have felt pain that no human should bare.
You must see that the feelings you carry of your life being a mistake are lies from the enemy.
I know what you needed growing up was to feel loved, valued, safe and cherished.
I’m sorry that you felt none of those things but I want to tell you that one day you will.
All your doubts, all your fears, all your hurt and all your tears will be for something greater then you can ever imagine.
Your story will be a beacon of light in the darkest of situations and your faith will give hope to those who have lost theirs.
Those awful things that were done to you don’t define you, they don’t give you your sense of worth and you are NOT to blame.
That shame and guilt belongs to them.
God has called you beautiful and He gave you this life for a reason. You are His precious creation!
You have been redeemed by the ultimate Father and He will never leave you nor forsake you.
When you feel like your losing the battle and your heart is at war remember that what they took from you is not who you are.
Don’t let those who have hurt you and robbed you of your childhood, have your future too.
You will rejoice one day that instead of staying in bondage to the lies you will find freedom in your scars.
I will be there to always catch your tears,
I will be there to love you through your pain
I will be there to hold you through your healing
And I will be there to comfort you in your shame.
You are me and I am you!