Today I’m going to talk about one of the most important concepts on the road to healing for a trauma survivor: consistency.
Why is it so important? Many who have endured trauma experienced it during childhood, where they faced overwhelming neglect or danger they couldn’t escape. This could be due to family members
After a long, cold winter, now is the perfect time for a rejuvenating spring cleaning. But don’t limit yourself to emptying your closets and scrubbing the kitchen. Your mind needs a good spring cleaning too.
I suggest you start by de-cluttering your mind and cleaning out your negative thinking patterns to boost your emotional
I want you to imagine that you’re at a cocktail party, and you’re talking with someone you have just met. As people naturally do, you stand a comfortable distance away and start chatting about work, politics, the weather, whatever. But as the chat progresses, you notice that your conversation partner has inched towards you until
This was the week of talking to people who have just gotten out of bad relationships. It is such an excruciating process, isn’t it? Particularly if it was not a “we just grew apart” break-up but more of an, “I completely lost myself in this relationship” kind of a thing. I’ve talked a lot with
It’s one of the worst feelings in the world: You hurt the feelings of someone you care about and you have no idea how to make it better. Maybe your stress level was running high and you took it out on them. Maybe you tried to make a joke, and it hit a little too
It’s good, healthy and human to want love and seek it out. We live longer, healthier lives when we feel close to someone safe. Some people feel painfully disconnected, and long to open up to others. But then they stop themselves from reaching out.
As therapists, we want to empower people to build more meaningful connections.
Would you know if a friend or family member was the survivor of a sexual assault? Not necessarily. Many survivors do not talk openly about their assaults—not even to close family and friends. The reason for this choice is because our society has a history of treating sexual assault survivors poorly.
You can find numerous examples
Recently a number of clients have asked me about patterns they’ve noticed in their relationships. They keep dating the same “type” of person… and that type isn’t “thoughtful, kind, loving, and generous, with great communication skills.” What they’ve noticed is that try as they might to change the pattern, they keep dating jerks.
There are a
Survivors of childhood trauma deserve all the peace and security that a loving relationship can provide. But a history of abuse or neglect can make trusting another person feel terrifying. Trying to form an intimate relationship may lead to frightening missteps and confusion.
How can we better understand the impact of trauma, and help survivors find
At least once a week I see posts on the internet about the importance of being kind to yourself, loving yourself, or self-care.
The message is great and an important one. Taking care of ourselves is incredibly important. The problem is, sometimes being kind to ourselves is a lot easier said than done.
When someone
