Hi I’m currently I am working as an office manager for an amazing Doctor. I’m working on my bachelors in Psychology and I started a small business. I have two children, two wonderful boys, and I’m here to tell you why I’m a rockstar!
It took me some time to put into words what I am about to share with you now, because I am so disconnected from the traumas of my past. In fact thinking about it, writing about it, reflecting on it almost seems untruthful, like I’m fabricating a story or talking about someone else’s experience. I attribute this enormous disconnect to the modality Rapid Resolution Therapy, created by Dr. Jon Connelly. This disconnect, in my best description is an eliminator of the emotional attachment I had to past traumas. For about 8 years from the time I was 7 through 15, I was harassed in a sexual manner by a close relative. It made me feel extraordinarily uncomfortable to keep saying no to his advances, so sometimes I would give in and say yes which made him feel we were now having a mutual sexual relationship where I was just a “challenge” at times. I was very conflicted because I loved him as my brother and needed him as a friend. He came into my life when my dad married his mother. Having been surrounded by male relatives my whole life including my brother and my cousins I was very accustomed to what the relationship should/would be like, but his advances made my relationship with him considerably different than what I had experienced up to this point in my life. Due to a divorce between my parents just a couple of years before and my mom virtually disappearing from my life at the same time I became devastated. I was afraid to tell anyone what was happening and became humiliated when a successful advance from my step brother was witnessed by my real brother.
My Healing Journey
When I think about it now I almost wonder if I dreamed it and that maybe it didn’t actually occur, again just completely disconnected from it. I have no feelings of anger, sadness or shame related to any one of the experiences. Just a few years ago a Practitioner using RRT treated me for multiple traumas and I got the good news, that none of these things needed to continue to have an effect on me. My life completely changed from that point forward. I no longer ridiculed myself when I made a mistake. I didn’t hesitate to make decisions, large or simple. I was no longer my own worst enemy. I had come to realize that the thoughts I was having about the experiences were influencing my every move and every relationship in my life even when I wasn’t aware of it. Intimacy had been tough for me and that disappeared and became enjoyable once again. Relationships that were harmful to me were eliminated from my life because I no longer tolerated being mistreated by anyone. My life started over and I got in touch with “me”, a genuine version of me. I no longer had the noise in my mind about all that had happened to me and my guilt about saying yes occasionally disappeared. I continue to benefit to this day from my exposure to Rapid Resolution Therapy. It has transformed my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
“You are more resilient because of all the experiences you are acquiring now and going forward.”
To My Younger Self
If I could talk to a younger version of myself, as I think about it now I would go to a very specific day as I waited for a “beating” from my dad that never came, but there was a looming threat one was on its way as I lay in my room punished for misbehaving. I would tell that little frightened girl, she was going to be okay, more than okay because her dad would never lay a hand on her, not in her whole life and that it was only said in order to scare me. What would come up those stairs is a dad who loves you, a dad who has weaknesses even though he doesn’t appear to at this time and that he certainly does love you in the best way he knows how. And one day in the future, he is going to sit with you and tell you how proud he is of the person you have become and this will come at a moment in time where you continue to encounter struggles, but you are more resilient because of all the experiences you are acquiring now and going forward. It will continue to be a tough road at times, but at the same time you will experience joy in ways you never had.