Hello! I’m Keisha, a domestic violence survivor, published author, proud foodie and newly crowned Rockstar! I am also a motivational speaker in the fight against domestic violence. My speaking engagements are rooted in my own personal experiences. My passion and purpose is to reach out to all those who are suffering in abusive relationships and offer a hand of help, hope and happiness. I believe that if we all work together, we can destroy the chains that bind victims to what their abuser has instilled in their minds and break the shackles that still hold them prisoners long after the relationship is over. I believe this fight can, and will, be won.
You can connect with me via my website, facebook, or twitter @ImKeisha
Divorce affected me, as a young child, in such a way that I didn’t realize until I was old enough to understand what really happened. By the time I fully understood what took place, the damage was done. The lack of affection created a hole within my heart. A hole that later I would look to fill.
Like many others, being the product of a broken home, leaves you searching for attention, validation, affection and love. Then, I really did not know the definition of either of those, so it wasn’t hard for a guy to “sweep me off my feet”. Anything that was said or done was counted as “sweet” in my mind. By the time I was 18 I had ended a 2 year relationship, but not before I had my first child. There I was, 18 years old with a newborn son, still searching for love. There was a void inside me that I thought being with a guy would magically fix. I thought that if I found someone to love me, I wouldn’t feel unwanted or alone. That was far from the truth.
What I found was misery and what I fell into was a cycle. I began to attract only men that would physically abuse me. Men that verbally attacked me. Men that shattered an already broken young woman. I put my trust in these men thinking they would protect me, but little did I know, they would become the very ones that harm me. I clearly remember nights where I would lay in bed, my abuser laying next to me, crying helplessly asking God to save me out of such misery.
I was lower than low, my shattered self esteem and crippled confidence proved just that. Three abusive relationships, several black eyes, countless bruises, two broken bones, and many many sleepless nights later, I decided there was someone else I needed to desperately fall in love with, myself.
My Healing Journey
If you would have told me ten years ago that I was on the path to healing, I would have said a few choice words (only in my head of course) and pretended to listen to the remainder of your conversation. “You’re telling me I’m on a path of healing when I’m hurting more then I did when I was in the abusive relationships?” There was just no way! Healing was suppose to feel good! Right? Wrong.
In the blink of an eye, my entire life that I grew accustomed to living, had changed. I was alone and now forced to face all the pain, heartache and abandonment I felt. Not only as an adult but as a child as well. Even through it didn’t look or feel like healing, the healing process was taking place. After accepting the new road I was traveling, it was in that moment where I realized the deeper and more severe my wounds were, the more healing time I had to allow myself. It was not an easy journey and it showed. My emotions were scattered as I began to get aquantied with, not only, the person I lost so many years ago to abusive relationships but also with the one who spared my life.
For once in my life, I wasn’t in any relationship, but the one I had rekindled with God. I immersed myself in prayer and scriptures daily. Through His loving kindness He taught me things I never knew. How to trust again, how to love and most importantly, how I should be loved. He didn’t just work on my heart, He created a new one just for me. He instilled new affirming words into a place where only self hate lived, words such as, deserving, beautiful, worthy and wonderfully made. The more time I spent with God getting to know who He created me to be, the easier the healing process became.
Although, it became easier with time, it still hurt. Growth usually does. Looking back I see how beautiful, and how needed, the journey truly was. It was a journey of learning who I was, who I wasn’t, what I deserved and what I didn’t.
“You will overcome some of life’s most difficult challenges and you will survive them all. You will fight to be who God created you to be and you will become her.”
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