I began to be molested at the age of two. It continued with numerous family members on both sides of my family until the age of twelve.
Then I began drinking and doing drugs, eventually ending up in numerous dry out facilities and mental health clinics for extended stays. While I was imbibing in negative addictions, my behavior didn’t change. I only later realized that I had been furthering my abuse by victimizing myself because of my negative mindsets and addictions. I was partaking in risky, dangerous behaviors that furthered my angst and self hatred.
Finally, at the age of twenty, I got pregnant and ended up getting an abortion. Then at the age of twenty three I was pregnant again and went into preterm labor, delivering my baby at only six months of pregnancy. She lived for ten hours and then died. It was at that point when I was catapulted into the spirit realm to discover God.
That’s when my transformation began. But it took a long time for me to get where I am today. I was still angry and bitter. I was blamed by my family for being a problem. I was labeled the black sheep. Because I buried my memories deep inside me, I wasn’t able to know my full story until at almost the age of thirty. Then it began to tumble out of my subconscious.
I had two more children at the ages of twenty seven and twenty nine. My youngest child was born with a rare syndrome and she was gravely ill. I cared for her and professed my faith in God to heal her. At the age of eighteen, she died. I don’t even know what happened to her. That was nearly two years ago. I found her dead in her apartment and the situation has never been explained. It’s been hard to say the least. But I’ve survived it and tried to make the most of it. Had it not been for my Father in heaven and my faith, I wouldn’t have been able to withstand all the trauma.
My daughter Celby who recently passed was my cheerleader. She talked me into telling my story. And so I did.