About Diamante Lavendar

The abuse I endured began at the age of two and continued into early adulthood. Being that I was enduring abuse in my childhood and early teen years, I was in the position of trying to live despite the anguish I suffered. I had a rough time most of my life until I reached my early twenties. Then I began to work on healing myself through extensive counseling and seeking my higher power. I had been in and out of counseling since the age of sixteen but I found that through a relationship with my Father in heaven, I was able to heal much more easily.

After I had my kids, I began writing. However, my writing career began to revolve around my abuse about ten years ago. Since then I’ve written three books about abuse and loss. I’ve also always been an artist, winning awards from childhood until now. My childhood awards were given for art classes, literature and poetry. The awards continue on now. For my three published books I’ve won a total of sixteen awards thus far. For my art I’ve won eleven awards thus far and it’s been included in at least ten online exhibits. The thee books I’ve published are entitled Breaking The Silence, Poetry and Ponderings and Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief.

My art can be found on my website.

My Story

I began to be molested at the age of two. It continued with numerous family members on both sides of my family until the age of twelve.

Then I began drinking and doing drugs, eventually ending up in numerous dry out facilities and mental health clinics for extended stays. While I was imbibing in negative addictions, my behavior didn’t change. I only later realized that I had been furthering my abuse by victimizing myself because of my negative mindsets and addictions. I was partaking in risky, dangerous behaviors that furthered my angst and self hatred.

Finally, at the age of twenty, I got pregnant and ended up getting an abortion. Then at the age of twenty three I was pregnant again and went into preterm labor, delivering my baby at only six months of pregnancy. She lived for ten hours and then died. It was at that point when I was catapulted into the spirit realm to discover God.

That’s when my transformation began. But it took a long time for me to get where I am today. I was still angry and bitter. I was blamed by my family for being a problem. I was labeled the black sheep. Because I buried my memories deep inside me, I wasn’t able to know my full story until at almost the age of thirty. Then it began to tumble out of my subconscious.

I had two more children at the ages of twenty seven and twenty nine. My youngest child was born with a rare syndrome and she was gravely ill. I cared for her and professed my faith in God to heal her. At the age of eighteen, she died. I don’t even know what happened to her. That was nearly two years ago. I found her dead in her apartment and the situation has never been explained. It’s been hard to say the least. But I’ve survived it and tried to make the most of it. Had it not been for my Father in heaven and my faith, I wouldn’t have been able to withstand all the trauma.

My daughter Celby who recently passed was my cheerleader. She talked me into telling my story. And so I did.

My Healing Journey

My healing journey has been a long one, mainly because I’ve suffered so many traumas after the fact of being abused for years. It began at the age of twenty three after I lost my daughter Jazzy. Up until that time I had been in counseling but none of it really stuck because I wasn’t ready to confront what had happened.

When Jazzy died, I found myself face to face with God. I tell the story in my book Breaking The Silence, which is my true story. It’s regarded as fiction simply because the names of people and places have been changed. Since the day of her funeral, I searched for God. I began to seek Him because I knew it was the only way I’d heal.

It was a long, tough road but I kept trying day by day, hour by hour. I went to more extensive counseling appointments and I spent about twenty years off and on seeing various counselors. It helped but what really changed me was my relationship with my Father in heaven. Once I realized how much He loved me and that He adopted me as His child despite all my shortcomings, I finally began to heal.

My relationship with Spirit has grown deeply over the years. It has mended me on a profound level. I began writing my books about ten years ago. I talk about everything in Breaking The Silence and Poetry and Ponderings.

Also just recently in Finding Hope In The Darkness Of Grief. I have written these books to help others through hardship and pain.

“Everyone must fight in some form while they find themselves on planet earth. But don’t despair-you are loved more than you could ever know and you are destined for greatness.

To My Younger Self

Dear Young Diamante,

I know life is hard. I understand the pain you feel. But know this: it’s not your fault. You are beautiful, you are courageous, you are worthwhile and you are amazing. There will be difficulties which you must face, but know I’m with you. I am watching over you, spurring you on to greatness. The hardships you are enduring come at a cost to you but one day they will eventually become stepping stones to bigger and better things. Not only will you heal in amazing ways but you will also help thousands of other people to endure, grow, find hope and healing in their lives.

Your relationship with your true Father, true Lover, will be the most amazing thing you could ever experience. And He will bless you with the things you want so badly-love, children, companionship, understanding and compassion. You will never feel alone again. You will know you have a special purpose. Just believe and receive the goodness He wants so much to give you. What has happened to you will end up building you into an amazing work of art, something substantial that can teach others to honor their sacredness and purpose. God has a plan for you as He does for everyone. Everybody holds meaning and value. That is something you will learn and live to tell others.

Never feel ashamed or disgraced. Never allow the pain to warp you into negative thinking or destructive life patterns. Look at each difficulty as a step up to more love and understanding. Later in your life you will know why you have endured these things and you will know that trauma, death and deprivation will be turned to life, meaning and purpose. Everyone must fight in some form while they find themselves on planet earth. But don’t despair-you are loved more than you could ever know and you are destined for greatness.

Your older version, Diamante