WISDOM2018-07-19T22:59:45-07:00

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10 Ways to Build a Foundation of Trust with a Trauma Survivor

When it comes to survivors (of all kinds of trauma) it takes more work than usual to build and establish trust, the 10 things listed below are not the only things, just the foundation of trust. When working with survivors, a few things need to be clarified. Unfortunately some of these should be a given such as respect but the are not always. 10 Ways to Build a Foundation

I deserved it: How I blamed myself for my abusive relationship

To be completely transparent this is not the easiest subject for me to write about. I am pushing beyond my edge of comfort, as I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not alone; that what I am about to share about my story, will resonate with other Rockstars who have survived a myriad the struggle of relationship abuse and pain.  Perhaps I am wrong, maybe it

Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Recently I was sitting in a Starbucks catching up on my e-mail when it became impossible not to overhear the conversation happening in such close proximity at the next table. A young couple was engaged in the seemingly benign task of deciding what kind of coffees to order. What grabbed my attention was the subtle but powerful way in which the husband continually dismissed his wife’s timid

It’s A Body Thing

There’s something the body does that reflects what the nervous system does – a reflex, in response to a trigger. I’d like to explore this with you. When a person encounters a trigger, the body closes. What I seem to be noticing with myself and my clients is a popular trigger called “ALLOWING A PART OF MYSELF TO BE SEEN THAT I WASN’T SURE I WANTED TO

We Are All Doing the Best We Can

The topic of perfectionism has come up quite a bit in my office lately. This idea about wanting to be perfect or get the best score, best grades, or be the best parents runs rampant. We are all trying to win some unnamed race to prove what exactly? That we are “winning” at life? That we are somehow doing “better” than the person sitting next to us?

The One Decision That Saved My Life – Healing From Depression

I spent Halloween ’11 in mental hospital.  Well, technically, it was a “Medical Center for Behavioral Health.” But, because I keep it real, we were all sorts of crazy up in there. The staff even put on horror movies for us on Halloween. They wouldn’t allow me to keep the drawstring of my favorite sweatshirt, but watching endless Freddy Krueger I guess was okay. All that aside,

I AM ENOUGH

Enough. The dictionary defines it as “to the required degree, or extent”. What is the required degree though? The synonyms are varied, and mean different things, not the same thing, and synonyms are meant to mean the same thing. In what world is sufficient or adequate, the same as ample or abundant? It’s no wonder ‘enough’ is the word that tortures us with a belief of lack

How Gratitude Helped Me Heal From Sexual Trauma

I’m not someone who believes that everything happens for a reason or that we need to be grateful for everything. Horrible, tragic, unthinkable things happen to people and children around the world everyday and I don’t believe these things happen for the reasons of teaching us a lesson and making us stronger, better people. We feel comforted knowing why things happen. We search for something good from

I AM A ROCKSTAR

DEAR ROCKSTARS OF THE WORLD Listen Up! We are not victims in distress, we are amazing and inspiring survivors, yes you! The ones that have suffered through immeasurable pain, heartbreak, childhood miseries, rape, abuse, sadness, loneliness… we are the ones that have learned to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, in order to learn our true strength. YOU are the change agents of the

The Silver Space

We are all familiar with the space of uncertainty, where nothing is quite decided, it’s neither black nor white- it’s gray. This space is often uncomfortable and confusing. Our natural inclination is to make it stop as quickly as possible, make everything solid, fit in a box, make sense again. But what if we are supposed to truly live in this gray dynamic space? What if this

I’m here to call out the psychiatric diagnosis of victims of sexual abuse and violence.

It’s time to stop the practice of diagnosing humans with psychiatric labels and allow them to naturally experience distress, trauma and shock when they are abused and violated by another human being.  I want to share with you the moment I realised that enough was enough. In 2012, I took over a rape centre. The centre provided free counselling and group therapy for women, men and children

Embracing Fearlessness

It seems almost ironic that you can be perceived as a fearless warriors but still feel fearful and scared inside.  That we are Rockstars, even though sometimes we might not always feel worthy of such a title? A title that we have earned through our fearless struggle towards hope and healing. I struggle with this most days.  Part of me feels strong because of what I have overcome, and the

Dear Worry

Dear worry: We need to talk. I think I am finally ready to call it quits. No, this isn’t like the last hundred times when I pushed you away and then came running back to you when I couldn’t deal. This is for real this time. You’ve done nothing but bring me down and it is time for you to pack your things and go. I’ve clung on

Hello World!

Before I even begin, I want to take a moment to say thank you.  Thank you for finding your way here. Thank you for supporting and inspiring me every day. And thank you for your courage, because within that I’ve found mine. If you’ve already been on this journey with me for awhile, and you know who you are, thank you for all of the years of

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