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Shaping Our Life’s Story
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if the challenging events in your life never happened to you? Would you be the person you are today? Would you know your own
Essential Oils for Healing
When you walk into a room, home, or office, you often notice the scent right away. Often we will identify if a scent is warm or cool, pleasant or unpleasant, relaxing, uplifting, or soothing.
There’s No Such Thing as “You Made Your Bed, Now Lie in It”
For many people raised in abusive, neglectful, or dysfunctional families, the message "you made your bed, now lie in it" is a common life philosophy taught and promoted throughout childhood. It’s a message typically
Life After Abuse: Don’t Judge Me
Life after abuse brings many obstacles and challenges. Unfortunately, one of the most difficult things after abuse is dealing with the reactions of those you confide in. Whether you wish to confide in a
Survivors and Supporting Survivors of Sexual Trauma
Would you know if a friend or family member was the survivor of a sexual assault? Not necessarily. Many survivors do not talk openly about their assaults—not even to close family and friends. The
Why You Keep Dating Jerks
Recently a number of clients have asked me about patterns they’ve noticed in their relationships. They keep dating the same “type” of person… and that type isn’t “thoughtful, kind, loving, and generous, with great
12 Ways to Be Your Own Best Valentine
In my therapy practice, I’ve often noticed an increase in stress, anxiety, and depressed mood the week before Valentine’s Day. Men and women who are not in committed relationships report feeling more vulnerable, insecure,
Loving a Trauma Survivor: Understanding Childhood Trauma’s Impact On Relationships
Survivors of childhood trauma deserve all the peace and security that a loving relationship can provide. But a history of abuse or neglect can make trusting another person feel terrifying. Trying to form an
The Power of Thought: Using Affirmations
We can change how we feel by changing how we think. Affirmations may help break the habit of negative thinking. Negative thinking is often a major contributing factor in chronic anxiety, depression and the
Why It Can be So Hard to be Kind to Ourselves
At least once a week I see posts on the internet about the importance of being kind to yourself, loving yourself, or self-care. The message is great and an important one. Taking care of
Healing through Music
It was warm and breezy that afternoon in a forest nestled in the hills of New Jersey. The girls were bustling around, tiny boxes in hand, eager for the festivities to begin. It was
Trauma Informed Care: What it is and How to Find It
These days, mental health organizations and individual practitioners are quick to throw around the term “trauma informed care” when touting the paradigms they use to treat victimized clients. But I’m not sure that all
Happy New Year!
A big Happy New Year from your Rockstar Community!! Thank you for being here with us and inspiring healing and hope every day! The start of a new year always brings to mind the
New Year’s Resolutions to Nourish the Soul
What I love about this time of the year and the hum of the upcoming new year is that it not only gives us an opportunity to sit and reflect on the lessons we’ve
Practicing Self Care Creatively
The holidays can be a trigger for those who have any unresolved trauma or grief. Having to see family can bring up all sorts of feelings, memories or sensations. Also during the holidays, we
Overcoming An Eating Disorder From Trauma
I started making myself throw up when I was 15. I was raped the year before and kept it a secret, stuffing it deeply inside and keeping it down with self-hatred. That, along with
For Trauma Survivors, Quiet Moments Can Be Challenging
The quieter moments of healing can be oddly disconcerting. Healing in general isn’t quiet: maybe loud is the wrong word, but intense would be accurate. The feelings that go with healing from trauma loom
5 Ways to Stay Calm This Holiday Season
During the stress of the holiday season, our moods and awareness can be far from peaceful. There will be moments…long moments…stretching into days…and maybe even weeks…that will be overwhelming, and stressful. Where instead of
The Protective Power of “I’m Crazy”
In the last few weeks I lost track of how many times different clients uttered the phrase, “I must be crazy” as a way to make sense out of their symptoms or struggles. It’s
Can I Kiss You? A Survivor’s Experience at a Date Safe Project Event
Tonight I had the honor of attending Date Safe Project’s “Can I Kiss You?” event presented by their founder, Mike Domitrz. To say that it was incredible would be an understatement. I was blown
My Experience with EMDR Trauma Treatment
I’ve been meaning to blog about my PTSD treatment for a while, I think I was waiting until it was over, but now seems to be as good a time as any. I know
Healing through Humor
Why are we so serious? Maybe it’s just the area I live and work in here in the Midwest but people are so serious most of the time. Why does therapy have to be
7 Tips to Heal Your Heartbreak
A bad break-up can trigger an immediate brain-mind-body cascade of emotions, body sensations, and thoughts. It’s a significant experience that can keep you stuck for years, decades, or a lifetime. But that doesn’t have
Why do I feel so Alone in a Sea of #MeToo
Wow, Rockstar, what a day. Can you believe the remarkable outpouring of "me too's" My Facebook is filled with a sea of #MeToo. So why do I still feel so alone in this? Why
10 Ways to Build a Foundation of Trust with a Trauma Survivor
When it comes to survivors (of all kinds of trauma) it takes more work than usual to build and establish trust, the 10 things listed below are not the only things, just the foundation