About Lindy Ariff

Lindy Ariff, LCSW is the founder of I AM A ROCKSTAR. She is a clinically trained social worker, certified hypnotherapist, and healing professional. She has nurtured and guided hundreds of clients in aligning mind, body, and soul. Visit her blog and connect with her at LindyAriff.com.

There’s No Such Thing as “You Made Your Bed, Now Lie in It”

For many people raised in abusive, neglectful, or dysfunctional families, the message “you made your bed, now lie in it” is a common life philosophy taught and promoted throughout childhood. It’s a message typically passed down from one generation to the next, particularly when there was prior victimization or helplessness.

This mindset gets normalized

Life After Abuse: Don’t Judge Me

Life after abuse brings many obstacles and challenges.

Unfortunately, one of the most difficult things after abuse is dealing with the reactions of those you confide in. Whether you wish to confide in a few select people or you decide to confide in everyone you know, anticipating someone’s response can be terrifying.

It is impossible

Why You Keep Dating Jerks

Recently a number of clients have asked me about patterns they’ve noticed in their relationships. They keep dating the same “type” of person… and that type isn’t “thoughtful, kind, loving, and generous, with great communication skills.” What they’ve noticed is that try as they might to change the pattern, they keep dating jerks.

There are a

12 Ways to Be Your Own Best Valentine

In my therapy practice, I’ve often noticed an increase in stress, anxiety, and depressed mood the week before Valentine’s Day.

Men and women who are not in committed relationships report feeling more vulnerable, insecure, and even “inadequate” as they face the reality that no one will be sending them flowers, candy, jewelry, or a loving card.

Loving a Trauma Survivor: Understanding Childhood Trauma’s Impact On Relationships

Survivors of childhood trauma deserve all the peace and security that a loving relationship can provide. But a history of abuse or neglect can make trusting another person feel terrifying. Trying to form an intimate relationship may lead to frightening missteps and confusion.

How can we better understand the impact of trauma, and help survivors find

Healing through Music

It was warm and breezy that afternoon in a forest nestled in the hills of New Jersey. The girls were bustling around, tiny boxes in hand, eager for the festivities to begin. It was an epic moment: this celebration of freedom was an appropriate end to a week-long journey chock-full of tears, laughter, outbursts of

Trauma Informed Care: What it is and How to Find It

These days, mental health organizations and individual practitioners are quick to throw around the term “trauma informed care” when touting the paradigms they use to treat victimized clients.

But I’m not sure that all providers and agencies really understand what “trauma informed care” means.

Certainly, many of them recognize the need to incorporate questions about the possibility